13 Tips to Help Overhaul Your Life and Change Direction AKA Pivot
Life is everchanging which means sometimes you have to pivot.
Knowing when to persist vs when to pivot is a skill because sometimes it’s a matter of sticking things out.
Or you might need to find a new direction to achieve what you set out to achieve.
And other times, your entire life needs to change, those goals don’t work anymore or that business isn’t for you and that’s ok.
Every experience provides a lesson and opportunity, it isn’t a waste.
I was raised in a strict religion in country Tasmania, taught to get married young, buy a house, have kids, the white picket fence ideal.
At 19, I was married, I had 2 kids soon after but that life (and especially the religion) never sat right with me.
I wanted to travel, show my kids the world, invest, have a career and more.
My marriage was abusive, so I left, was awarded full custody after a long and expensive custody battle and went on to live a life more aligned with my values.
As a result, my older kids are international champions at their chosen interests, we have business and real estate in Vanuatu, have travelled extensively and my kids see there is a completely different life available to them.
Pivoting was key to this. The number of obstacles I’ve faced from paralysis to cyclones is immense.
Learning how to regroup, reframe my experiences, formulate a new plan and take action wasn’t easy but it has definitely been worth it.
How can you navigate whatever life throws at you? How can you pivot when needed? And how do you know it’s the right move?
Here are some tips to help you pivot when you need to.
1. Acceptance and Action Instead of Avoidance
In the past few years, I completely lost myself due to numerous betrayals, back to back pregnancies, the newborn/toddler stage plus already having teens, moving states and so much more.
Everything felt overwhelming, I was exhausted, I lost all confidence and sense of self-worth.
Finally I had the confidence and worked on myself enough that I set and stuck to clear boundaries with the people causing issues.
If they didn’t get sober and didn’t get therapy, they couldn’t be in my life.
I did that so I could focus on my own healing.
However, instead of focusing on my healing, I used distraction, which delays everything.
My eldest became a robotics champion, and my second became a wrestling champion, both at international levels.
Plus, I had two more children in 2021 and 2022, with no childcare available until recently.
It was easy to throw myself into their training, getting them where they needed to go and all the travel involved with their championships.
I used distraction because I felt ashamed of my situation, due to my upbringing, I felt I failed at life, I was lost and devoid of a sense of self.
Distraction and avoidance were not healthy and certainly didn’t help me.
Instead of accepting my situation, processing it and actually doing the work to heal, I buried it, using my kids as an excuse.
Once I started the work to heal, it’s a work in progress, not a destination, and started taking action, our life went ahead in leaps and bounds.
Another part of acceptance is accepting that change is part of life. Let go of guilt or fear. Pivots are a sign of growth, not failure. Embrace the unknown as an opportunity.
How many of us are guilty of this? Burning ourselves out, feeling guilty and afraid, doing everything for everyone instead of facing reality, taking care of ourselves, accepting where we are and creating a plan to move forward?
Take stock of your life, where are you using distraction and avoidance instead of acceptance and action?
2. Move From Blaming to Building
Where focus goes, energy flows.
When we face any trauma or negative event, it can be easy to focus on that, ruminate constantly and let it take over our lives.
As we are driving around our mind drifts to it.
When trying to fall asleep, we might struggle to switch off because we are thinking about this event, etc.
Humans, by nature, dwell on the negative; it’s a survival instinct, our brains way of protecting us from any risk.
But it can cause so much damage.
Seek out professional help if you need to retrain your brain, reframe life events and develop skills to build a new life.
Trying to do this on your own can be tricky, especially if you have no base, no example and are unsure where to start.
To help with it now, when you realise you are ruminating, ask yourself:
Are these thoughts bringing me closer to the life I want or detracting from it?
Do I want the life I am dwelling on or can I shift my focus to what I truly want?
For me, when dealing with an abusive ex and custody, at first I seemed to alternate between reliving the trauma and being anxious about the future custody battle or what else he might do.
Learning techniques such as these 15 tips for mindfulness, how to reframe and visualise a new future helped immensely.
It was about moving from blaming my past and all involved to building my future.
So when I was faced with all the betrayals recently, I was able to use these skills.
While it was devastating and kept me stuck for a long time, when I was able to reframe and regroup, instead of placing blame on the people involved or myself and feeling stupid, ashamed, used, worthless etc I focused on building the life I love.
Read 9 tips for forgiveness, how to forgive without losing yourself.
3. Attitude Refresh
Our thoughts and attitude greatly impact how we tackle obstacles and our ability to pivot.
Learning to have an attitude of gratitude as well as remaining curious and open-minded will help you move in the direction you want much faster.
Having an attitude of gratitude does not change what has happened, it changes how I feel about what happened and opens my mind to the possibilities.
Whenever I am faced with anything, asking myself three questions:
– What lesson do I need to learn from this?
– What are the positives that can come from this?
– How can I turn this into an opportunity?
By applying this to every area of my life I do not resent or regret my past, instead it becomes fuel powering me forward into the life I want.
Read these tips for how to have an attitude of gratitude.
4. Life Audit
When you are so lost and life has thrown so much at you, how do you even know what you love or what you want to pivot to?
Attitude, acceptance, action and everything is all good but how can you see through all the trauma and drama to a future?
Start by reconnecting with your why. Reflect on what matters most to you now. Your values, passions, and purpose can guide your next move.
My reason why, even though in the past few years I struggled, has always been about my kids and being clear on the life I wanted for us and the example I wanted to be for them.
Next, do a life audit. List what’s working, what’s not, and what drains or energizes you.
This clarity is crucial for knowing what to change.
With this audit, identify transferable skills. You likely already have skills you can apply in a new industry, business model, or lifestyle—leverage them.
When thinking about and planning your next steps, consider the type of person you want to be, what habits and skill do they have, what are their hobbies, boundaries etc. How can you invest in learning those?
Certain beliefs, habits and processes are the reason we are where we are, whether that is good or bad.
Yes, other people’s choices, natural disasters and things outside of our control impact our lives, however, our reactions, thought process, perception and habits definitely affect how we got there and where we go next.
As an example, the past few years some of my choices and beliefs definitely got me to where I was.
By identifying these choices, habits and beliefs, I was able to make the right changes.
I worked on my self confidence and perception of life, held my boundaries, got professional help and a lot of help from my family, invested in courses and focused on the life we wanted and things changed drastically.
I decluttered the bad habits and people that were causing more harm than good to make room for the habits and people who would help me move in the right direction.
I started doing little experiments to see what I enjoyed doing, what interested me and what I found inspiration from.
From there, I was able to formulate a new plan and visual for my life, one I could easily act on as it aligned with my reason why, my values, the skills I currently had and things I wanted to develop.
5. Start Small Experiments
I mentioned this briefly above but wanted to delve into it further.
Often, when facing trauma, life events or becoming lost in motherhood, we don’t know where to start to make changes.
Hobbies, interests, increasing skills etc can all fall by the wayside.
When looking at pivoting, you don’t need a full plan, you can start small.
Test ideas through side projects, freelancing, or part-time changes.
Think back to when you were a kid, what are some of the things you enjoyed or wanted to do?
What career path interested you? Which books, courses, hobbies and other activities did you enjoy?
As an adult, what are things you have done that inspired you, energised you or piqued your interest?
Write a list and start doing any you can.
My daughter and I did this, one of the things she wanted to try was wrestling.
Our local PCYC had classes twice a week so she started there and loved it.
Her coach pulled me aside as soon as she started and told me to keep bringing her, she’s a champion.
We laughed and said ok, not realising he had trained 46 champions, including Olympians (he’s 80 now).
From doing a taster class, she kept going and became the South East Asia and Oceania Champion for her category. Only 6 athletes on the Australian wrestling team won gold and she was one of them.
This was so far beyond her imagination when she started.
At that championship, she had both Tonga and Australia wanting her to compete for them (she is part Tongan so could).
She chose Australia, selected her favourite coach and will be training for the Olympics once we move to Perth.
One small decision, trying one new thing can change your whole life.
6. Invest in Learning
New direction? New tools. Take a short course, read, get coaching, or find mentors in your desired space.
There are numerous ways to learn now, resources to make things easier and loads of free options depending on what you want to learn.
Even if you aren’t completely sure, you can start by taking a short course in something you have some interest in.
Do a taster class e.g. many dance and fitness classes have a first class free option.
Listen to some podcasts or watch YouTube or documentaries on things that interest you, even if only a little bit and go from there.
TAFE offers free courses for some areas, discounts on other subjects and have fairly supportive and flexible learning options.
Seek out coaches and mentors in areas you want to improve, get recommendations and see how quickly your knowledge grows in those areas with their guidance.
Again, it doesn’t need to be big, a university degree or something like that, you can start small.
The important thing is to start.
Read 10 ways to invest in education and continuous learning.
7. Build a Support Squad
Surround yourself with people who uplift, challenge, and support you—especially if they’ve done similar pivots.
Often we listen to those around us and they don’t always have our best interests at heart.
Seek out people who have achieved what you want to achieve.
Often when you are changing your life, some people will fall aways.
Remember, some people are for a season, some for a reason and some for a lifetime.
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever and it doesn’t mean you think you’re better than them or anything like that.
It is about surrounding yourself with the people who will support and uplift you, who will help you create the life you want.
We all have a different path in life and it’s ok to break away from people who are no longer on the same path as you.
Using my daughter as an example again, she was ready to quit wrestling because of the lack of support at her current club.
Despite being amazing at it, she didn’t get any support from NSW and her club seemed shocked she made it to the SEA and Oceania Championships. Most of them were shocked she won and treated her like a beginner.
Yet in Thailand, at that championship, we met the team and head coach from WA.
Immediately, they were so supportive, funny, included us in everything and were exactly the type of people we wanted her surrounded by.
Fortunately, she had a championship in Perth immediately after Thailand and we all fell in love with Perth.
Perth was always on the cards for us, but this sealed it and we can’t wait.
Who you surround yourself with matters.
8. Use Your Story
One of the biggest things I did to help me go from homeless single mother to multiple international award-winning CEO was to share my story.
At first, I was terrified I’d be judged, lose clients, get trolled etc.
I shared anyway and was able to use my story to raise millions for charities, found then sell a company, travel extensively and create a completely different life.
Your journey is your superpower. Craft it in a way that shows resilience and reinvention—it’ll attract aligned opportunities.
9. Declutter What No Longer Fits
This might be physical stuff, beliefs, relationships, or outdated business offers.
Learning to let go of these things and people is important.
Doing this creates space for whatever and whoever is meant for you instead of staying stuck where you are.
It is not easy but if there are things that weigh you down and hold you back, they need to go.
As an example, last year I had to cut someone out of my life as they were on a life path I did not want anything to do with.
Sadly, they continued to make horrible choices, living the worst year of their life doing things they now deeply regret.
That year almost ended with deadly consequences for them and had I continued to allow them in our lives, I know my kids would not have had the championship opportunities they did.
It was difficult but the right decision.
Later, when we saw this person again, the stark differences between our lives made them wake up, get sober, get therapy and turn their life around.
Another example is with our upcoming move.
Instead of packing up everything we have, we decided to get new in Perth.
We did not enjoy our time here and don’t want to take any of the energy from here to our new home.
Every time we sell or donate something, it lifts us up, energises us and feels like one step closer to our dream.
Declutter every aspect of your life and feel the difference.
10. Rebrand (If Needed)
Rebranding isn’t only for businesses. Maybe you used to be a party person but are now sober.
Clean up your digital footprint, activities, update your bio, social media, and messaging to reflect your new direction.
You might get criticised by some but those are generally not the people you want in your life anyway.
Anyone who wants to hold you back from improving your life, getting healthier, wealthier and happier isn’t a friend.
Change how you dress to match the energy and life you want.
Use a personal stylist if you want, try different hair and makeup looks if you feel inspired to.
Learn what you need to match this version of yourself.
Life is for living, we should all be growing and rebranding ourselves is part of that.
11. Prioritize Energy Over Hustle
For years the focus has been on hustle harder, completely taking over people’s lives.
This narrative was pushed predominantly by men who had wives doing all the mental labour and home life tasks.
They had the free time and headspace to dedicate to hustling.
As a mother of a large family with cultural obligations overseas, business, real estate, training etc the hustle harder mentality only leads to burnout.
Track your energy, do the hardest work when you have the most energy.
Learn about dopamine, what motivates you and schedule tasks accordingly.
We have autism and ADHD in the family so are quite conscious of this and made a few changes to help within our home.
My morning and evening routine work well for me to stay energised and on task.
Check out these 11 habits to help with productivity and why they work.
Look at what you can insource (get others in the home to help) and what you can outsource (cleaning, yardwork etc).
Free up your time, work out which tasks give you the most reward for the least effort and use your time and energy accordingly.
Remember, life isn’t just about hustling and making more money.
Money is essential for a comfortable lifestyle and to jump on opportunities but it shouldn’t come at the cost of everything else.
12. Take Aligned Action (Even If It’s Scary)
Waiting for confidence is a trap. Clarity and courage come through action, not before it.
Work out what your values are, what goals you want to work on, the life you want then take action.
Don’t wait for inspiration or motivation to hit, choose an action and go for it.
If I waited to feel motivated to work out every morning, I would never have started.
By deciding I am someone who works out every morning, visualising how I want to heal after the birth of my fifth child and the health goals I have after, when I woke up, I started working out.
It was difficult at first, I felt slow, inflexible and weak but I knew if I didn’t do it now, nothing would improve.
If I didn’t work on it, then instead of being fit and healthy this pregnancy and after, I’d get weaker and have an even bigger task after the birth.
Decide what it is that you want to achieve and take action every day to make it happen.
13. Trust the Timing
You might decide you want all these things in a specific timeframe but life might have other plans.
As a family, we decided to move to Perth at the end of 2024 and started to look at how to make that happen.
Then my 17 year old got selected to go to Spain with Real Madrid in May and we had to change the moving date.
With the moving date locked in, we started selling off things and getting ready still even though it was 5 months later than we wanted.
Recently, we got a call that my 16 year old has been nominated for a Commonwealth Games Award and Sponsorship but she needs to be here in Sydney for it in June.
So we delayed the move again which has been difficult.
However, we’ve been able to sort more things out, financially this worked much better and we are confident the timing is right.
Even though we wanted to move earlier, we had too many opportunities and so much has worked in our favour by delaying the move and setting the move up to be much easier.
You don’t have to figure it all out at once.
Sometimes the most important pivot is simply the first step.
For us, the first step was having a discussion about our goals, setting the big one for the family and taking some steps towards that.
When it didn’t work completely in the timing we decided, we pivoted and benefited even more.
Trust the process, take action and you’ll be surprised what can happen.
Resources From This Article
Here are all the articles and resources linked to in this article.
15 tips for mindfulness
How to have an attitude of gratitude
20 tips to increase confidence
How to stop bad habits and what to replace them with
How to let go
11 habits to improve your life
How to work out your core values and live them
10 ways to invest in education and continuous learning
11 Changes we made in our neurodiverse family to make life easier
Also, the books that helped me pivot, create better habits and systems to improve my life include:
Atomic Habits
The 12 Week Year
The Power of One More
The Big Leap
We Should All Be Millionaires
Not Just Lucky
Level Up