15 Tips to Help You Break Bad Habits (And What to Replace Them With)
Breaking bad habits can be challenging, but it is possible with the right approach.
Some bad habits can be easier than others to correct such as staying up too late.
Others might require professional help or might have tipped from bad habits over into addiction.
If that is the case for you or a loved one, please seek help through your GP, a psychologist, support groups, helplines and similar for the specific issues.
For example, here is the government website about drugs and alcohol, details about the gambling helpline and similar services.
To find a psychologist, check out the Australian Psychological Society or The Australian Association of Psychologists.
How to Break Bad Habits
Everyone has had habits they don’t like at times or consider bad.
Personally, I find it easier to break a bad habit once I fully accept it is an issue, actively seek help and find a way to replace it.
Here are the tips that help me overcome bad habits.
1. Identify the Triggers
Understand what triggers your bad habit.
Is it stress, boredom, or a specific environment?
Identifying the root cause helps you address the underlying issue rather than just the habit itself.
How Can You Identify Triggers?
There are multiple ways you can identify your triggers, here are two that you can do yourself but also consider working with a professional.
Tracking
Track your mood and behaviour for a while and you will likely see patterns emerge that show you what you are triggered by.
Keep a journal or use an app to record when and where you engage in the bad habit.
Note the time, location, your emotional state and what you were doing before the habit occurred.
Review your notes and look for patterns such as specific times of day, certain situations or feelings that trigger your bad habits.
Sometimes this method is all you need to help you uncover your triggers and make some changes.
Five Why’s
In the book, The People Pleaser’s Guide to Putting Yourself First, I read about the Five Whys.
Sakichi Toyoda, the Japanese industrialist, inventor, and founder of Toyota Industries, developed the 5 Whys technique in the 1930s.
It’s a technique to help you get to the root cause of a problem and Toyota still use it today.
It’s as simple as asking yourself why, five times.
Here’s an example from a meeting with a friend who was struggling with the motivation to make some promised changes in their life despite having the resources.
Why don’t I do what I say I’ll do?
Because I don’t put systems in place and commit to taking action to make those changes.
Why don’t I make those changes?
Because I don’t make it a priority.
Why don’t I make these changes a priority?
Because I assume it’ll all work out without any effort from me and if I make it a priority, it means I care and things have to change.
Why do I do that?
Because of my childhood and adulthood experiences (I won’t share what they shared or what I know for this part).
I self-sabotage so I don’t have to do it.
Why do I self-sabotage?
Because I don’t feel I deserve to be loved.
This hit them so hard, they cried. It was a huge realisation for them and they immediately put things in place to make some changes.
What are Some Common Triggers?
To help you get started, here are some common triggers to consider when assessing your own life.
Emotional triggers: Stress, anxiety, boredom, loneliness, negative self-perception etc.
Environmental triggers: Specific locations such as smoking at a bar or snacking while watching TV and people around you or the time of day.
Situational triggers: Social situations such as a party or after-work drinks, specific activities, disruptions to routine.
When thinking about these, also think about how you feel after you’ve participated in your bad habit once triggered. This can help change behaviour.
2. Set Clear Goals
Clearly define the habit you want to break and why it’s important to you that you break it.
Having a strong motivation or reason can provide the necessary drive to make lasting changes.
Without a string reason why, many people struggle to quit bad habits or make the positive changes they want in their lives.
Decide on a strong reason to make the change then put a plan in place to help you achieve it.
I have my 10 steps to success with goals here plus you might want to read Atomic Habits and The 12 Week Year to help you set your goals, create systems and make change.
3. Replace the Habit with a Positive One
Instead of just trying to stop the bad habit, replace it with an alternative that relates to the life you truly want.
For example, if you’re trying to quit smoking, replace it with chewing gum or deep breathing exercises.
If you always watch TV in the evenings, consider going for a walk to unwind instead.
Spend too much time doomscrolling? Delete the social media apps and download ones that help you learn such as Duolingo or another language app, audiobooks, podcasts and similar.
When it comes to snacking or overeating, make yourself chew slower and be aware of what you are eating.
Sit to eat and focus on eating only, so no eating while scrolling or watching TV for example and you will be surprised how much less you eat.
Replacing the bad habit with a more positive one is generally more effective because you aren’t leaving a hole where the old habit was.
Instead of trying to push your way through, you have an alternative that can stimulate similar parts of the brain e.g. give a dopamine hit.
4. Use the “Cue, Routine, Reward” Framework
This method involves identifying the cue that triggers the habit, the routine (habit) that follows, and the reward you get from it.
By altering the routine while keeping the cue and reward the same, you can rewire your behaviour.
It is discussed in many books about habits and self-improvement.
Identifying your triggers, routines and rewards can take a little time and practice but is worth it.
Once you know what triggers you, as listed in tip 1, you can find ways to reduce or alter those triggers.
The same with the routine or habit that follows, knowing is half the battle because you can’t make the changes if you don’t know what to change.
With the trigger and routine identified, you can create new rewards and help yourself break those bad habits.
Sometimes it is easier to do this work with a professional because we can tend to get so used to our lifestyle choices we don’t notice the small triggers or habits.
5. Start Small
Break down the habit into smaller, more manageable steps.
If the habit is complex, focus on changing one aspect at a time rather than trying to overhaul everything at once.
Trying to overhaul every aspect of your life can be daunting and difficult to maintain.
Choose something that will be easy to change and give you a confidence boost that you are heading in the right direction, then build on it.
One small, consistent change will have a greater impact than a massive change you only keep for a few days.
6. Build Awareness
Keep a journal, or tracking chart or use an app to track your habits and life changes.
Recording when and why you engage in the habit increases your awareness and helps you spot patterns you can address.
Being aware of your patterns goes a long way in developing strategies to change long-term.
Tracking this way also helps motivate you with reminders (in the case of an app) or visuals of progress (with a chart).
Journalling also provides a way to look back later on what worked, what didn’t and to see how far you’ve come in more detail than an app or chart.
Looking back on old journals where I tracked things is incredibly useful for developing strategies now.
Seeing the habits and routines I had when I was achieving specific things helps me tailor my life now to achieve other things.
This is how I crafted my ideal morning routine and evening routine.
7. Use Visual Reminders
Place visual cues in your environment that remind you of your goal to break the habit.
This could be sticky notes with motivational quotes or reminders of why you want to change.
Some of my favourite and most effective visual clues took a little while to set up but made me happy and kept me motivated.
A Motivation Wall
My motivation wall includes a vision board full of things I want to be, do and see (often lots of travel on there), a calendar, savings or debt trackers, motivational quotes and anything else that motivates me.
Goals on Mirrors
I like writing my goals on my mirror so I see it often.
My bedroom and office both have mirrored robes, so having my goals written on there means I see them regularly as I am getting ready.
Affirmations/Quotes
Writing affirmations or quotes relating to the habit changes or goals I have helps me focus.
I change them as often as I feel the need and it’s been interesting to see how they have helped others.
I place them in my bathroom, on the fridge and random locations around the house.
Without fail, whenever people have come over, they read them, think about it and comment on it.
Sometimes I have felt inspired to write one that didn’t make sense at the time then someone visited and it was exactly what they needed to hear.
Google affirmations or quotes on anything you want inspiration for.
Screensavers/Lock Screens etc.
Create visuals of the habits you want to develop or the lifestyle you want to use as your lock screen, screensavers and similar for your devices.
Passwords
We should be changing our passwords regularly anyway, so change them to something to match your desired habits and lifestyle.
Use a combination of letters, numbers and symbols still to be safe and make it long.
8. Practice Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself during the process. Understand that breaking a habit is difficult and setbacks may happen.
Rather than getting discouraged, treat each setback as a learning opportunity.
What triggered the setback and what can you learn from it?
Too often we aim for perfection and when we fall short, we throw away all our progress instead of realising mistakes will happen.
Would you completely berate your best friend, sister or loved one if they slipped up a little or would you try to support them?
Treat yourself with love and compassion, knowing mistakes happen and acknowledging your progress so you can get right back to changing your life, breaking bad habits and creating good ones.
9. Enlist Support
Share your goal with friends, family, or a support group but be careful who you share it with.
Having someone to hold you accountable, offer encouragement, and celebrate your progress can make a big difference.
How do you know who to enlist for support?
Connect with people who have achieved what you want to achieve, have the experience and can support you.
Friends and family are great but if they haven’t faced your struggles or don’t understand, they might not be the best option.
They often mean well but since their opinions have a stronghold over us, be careful what you share.
Sometimes finding a support group specifically for your bad habit can be more beneficial than relying on those closest to you.
10. Change Your Environment
Alter your environment to make the bad habit more difficult to engage in.
For example, if you want to stop eating junk food, remove it from your home and stock up on healthier options.
Make sure you prepare those healthier options to ensure you use them such as preparing a salad or healthy meals, chopping up vegetables to use with dip etc.
Otherwise you’ll probably waste that food and want takeaway.
Avoid places where smokers hang out if that’s something you are struggling with, skip afterword drinks or suggest non-alcohol places and activities instead of the usual bar etc.
If sleep is an issue, rearrange your room and prime it for sleep instead of it being a catchall room.
Delete the apps you don’t want to waste time on to prevent you from scrolling mindlessly.
Look at every area of your life and environment to see what tweaks you can make to support your habit changes.
11. Use the “One-Day-at-a-Time” Approach
Focus on not engaging in the habit just for today.
This makes the process feel more manageable and less overwhelming.
When we think about not doing something ever again, it can send us into a binge frenzy.
By telling ourselves that just for today or one more day we will stick to our new habit, it makes it a smaller challenge.
The Power of One More by Ed Mylett covers this beautifully for many areas of our lives.
12. Visualize Success
Regularly visualize yourself succeeding in breaking the habit.
Imagine how you will feel and the positive impact it will have on your life.
Visualization can reinforce your commitment and motivate you to stick with it.
I love visualising when I am driving, doing anything I find a bit boring and as soon as I wake up or before I fall asleep.
Visualisation is one of the techniques I have used to achieve huge goals of mine, such as securing full custody of my children (my ex was abusive).
13. Develop Coping Mechanisms
If your habit is a response to stress or emotions, find healthier ways to cope, such as exercising, meditating, or talking to someone you trust.
This might take some research and trial and error, especially if you are surrounded by people who have less than healthy coping mechanisms.
If you know your triggers, routines and patterns you can look up ways to cope with them.
Most members of my family find running outside beneficial for stress relief, others I know like herbal tea and reading or taking a bath.
Another option is to check HALT: Are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
Often a quick nap, nutritious food or connecting with someone can help prevent a sprial of bad habits or feelings.
Check-in with yourself, how you are feeling and find the things that work for you.
For me, a lack of sleep makes everything else harder. As such, I prioritise sleep and have some tips on that here.
14. Reward Yourself
Celebrate your progress with rewards that are meaningful to you.
These could be small treats or larger rewards for hitting significant milestones.
When I was younger, I found it hard to celebrate or reward myself so I had to teach myself how and to accept I was worth celebrating.
Starting with small rewards such as buying something under $50 I really wanted or booking an event I wanted to go see.
Later, I incorporated those things into my lifestyle and made my rewards bigger for my larger goals.
When working on my health, I saved the money I would previously spend on energy drinks, takeaway and other food to spend on a new wardrobe once I hit my goal.
Another time I booked a holiday when I finished a specific goal.
Choose a reward that is motivating for you and be sure to celebrate properly.
15. Be Patient and Persistent
Breaking a habit takes time and effort. Stay patient and committed, recognizing that change is a gradual process.
Sometimes it feels as though we aren’t making any progress, the weight on the scales might go up, or we have a series of large expenses so our savings isn’t increasing.
Whatever happens, be sure to stick to your plan, be patient and persistent, knowing that slow progress is still progress and there are many reasons things might not be moving fast.
When it comes to health and weight, don’t base it on the scales for starters.
Take your measurements, get a body scan to see your percentages and track things such as how many push-ups you can do, how far you can run etc.
Measuring those things will show your progress more than the scales will.
With financial goals, it can be disheartening if you have to use your savings for large, unexpected expenses.
But think about how previously you would have gone into debt and you’ll see you are making progress still.
Celebrate small wins along the way, and keep pushing forward, even if progress is slow.
How do you break bad habits and change your life?
Resources listed in the article:
www.health.gov.au/our-work/drug-help
www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/
www.psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist
www.aapi.org.au
The People Pleaser’s Guide to Putting Yourself First
10 steps to success with goals
Atomic Habits
The 12 Week Year
My morning routine: the billionaire’s morning routine
My evening routine
How to create a vision board
The Power of One More