How to Overcome Self-Doubt or Imposter Syndrome
Self-doubt or imposter syndrome are all too common but there are things you can do to help overcome it.
Feeling as if you aren’t good enough, your success is fake or others are doing it better than you and one day you will get found out is awful.
When we feel like that it is hard to celebrate any win or be truly successful.
Here are 9 things that helped me overcome my self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Recognize and accept that self-doubt and imposter syndrome are common experiences.
Understanding that many people face similar feelings can help reduce their power over you.
When we push our feelings aside, try to ignore them and get on with things, the feelings will fester and grow.
Eventually, they will come out and generally, it’s not in healthy ways.
Burnout, breakdowns, outbursts, self-sabotage, all those things can happen if we don’t acknowledge our feelings, let them out and get help.
You are not alone in feeling this way but that doesn’t mean you have to remain stuck in those feelings and never progress.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
Identify and question the validity of your self-doubting thoughts.
Often our negative thoughts have no basis but it is easy to get consumed by them.
Replace them with positive affirmations and evidence of your past successes.
Acknowledging them is one step that helps and when you take the next step of challenging and changing those thoughts, that is when you start to see improvement.
How to Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
Sounds good, but how exactly do you challenge your negative thoughts?
1. Question the Evidence
Ask yourself: “Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?”
Challenge the validity of the thought by looking for objective evidence that supports or contradicts it.
Often, negative thoughts are based on fear or past experiences, not current reality.
2. Reframe the Narrative
Try flipping the script: instead of “I always fail,” reframe it as “I’ve faced challenges before and learned from them.”
Reframing helps shift your mindset from defeat to possibility, and it builds emotional resilience.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself like you would a close friend.
Would you say the same thing to someone you love? Probably not.
Replace harsh inner dialogue with kinder, more encouraging words.
4. Use “Thought Stopping” Techniques
When a negative thought spirals, say “stop” out loud or visualize a big red stop sign.
Then consciously shift your focus to something neutral or positive—like your breath, surroundings, or a gratitude list.
This becomes much easier the more you practice it. Check out these 15 techniques for mindfulness to help.
5. Keep a Thought Journal
Write down negative thoughts when they appear and then challenge them in writing.
Note the situation, the thought, the emotion it caused, and a more balanced or realistic version.
Over time, this practice rewires your mental habits.
I prefer to do this in a journal but you can use your phone if you don’t have a journal available.
3. Celebrate Your Achievements
One thing I am guilty of is brushing off my achievements and just going right onto the next thing instead of acknowledging I achieved something.
Even when it was a big achievement like an international award or buying a new business, I didn’t mark the occasion.
Regularly take time to acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small.
Anything you set out to achieve and accomplish deserves recognition.
For example, with my current health goals, whenever I up my reps or the weight I am using, we acknowledge it because my focus is strength, flexibility and endurance, not weight or dress size.
What are some things you have achieved you can acknowledge?
How can you acknowledge things in the future?
Small Ways to Celebrate Achievements
Keeping a success journal can be a good way to acknowledge them and help remind you of your capabilities in the future.
I also find it useful to be able to reflect on how far I have come.
If you’ve dropped dress sizes, buy a new outfit.
A massage, facial, product you’ve been eyeing off, a day off work or something similar can be a great way to celebrate.
Sometimes a get together with friends, it doesn’t need to be big, can be a fun way to celebrate.
4. Seek Feedback and Support
Feedback and support is extremely valuable provided you seek it from the right people and places.
Talk to trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues about your feelings as long as they are on a similar path or have achieved what you set out to achieve.
Their perspectives can provide valuable reassurance and help you see your strengths more clearly.
The reason I say be careful is because some people don’t want to see you achieve.
As great as some friends can be in other areas of life, they might not be the right person to provide feedback but they might be great at support.
Use your own discernment to determine where to seek feedback and support, knowing they don’t both need to come from the same sources.
Personally, my family are amazing at both but to truly take my business matters to the next level, I needed people who have done what I am working on.
5. Focus on Continuous Learning
Embrace a growth mindset by viewing challenges as opportunities to learn and improve, rather than as threats to your competence.
If you aren’t learning and growing, you are essentially going backwards because everything else around you is changing.
I am so grateful I live at a time where there are resources available on anything I want to learn.
How to Keep Learning
Look at any experiences and ask yourself these 3 questions.
Seek out coaches, mentors and people you can learn from.
Utilise books, podcasts, YouTube channels and similar of people you respect and admire or who are credible in the areas you want to learn about.
Consider enrolling in a course and getting qualifications as well.
6. Set Realistic Expectations
Avoid perfectionism by setting achievable goals and understanding that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.
“Done is better than perfect” is something I had to learn because I had specific ideas of how I wanted things to go.
When I couldn’t do it exactly how I wanted, I didn’t do it and it’s cost me dearly.
Often I felt it had to be perfect or done a specific way for it to be successful or to matter.
That’s simply not true.
When you wait for things to be perfect, or perfect in the way you want, you are denying people of your talents and valuable contribution to the world.
Put yourself out there, give things a go and let go of the need for it to be your idea of perfect.
How to Set Realistic Expectations and Let Go of Perfect
It took me a long time to learn this so I wanted to share a few tips to help you do it faster.
1. Redefine What Success Looks Like
Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for progress.
Ask yourself: “What does ‘good enough’ look like in this situation?”
This shift helps you focus on what truly matters and reduces the pressure to do everything flawlessly.
2. Break Goals Into Manageable Steps
Perfectionism often comes from overwhelm.
Divide big tasks into small, achievable actions.
Celebrate each step forward—this builds momentum and confidence without needing everything to be perfect.
3. Recognize Perfection Is a Moving Target
Perfection changes depending on the situation, your mood, or other people’s opinions.
When you realize it’s subjective and impossible to reach, it becomes easier to focus on doing your best instead of chasing an illusion.
4. Embrace Mistakes as Part of Growth
Shift your mindset from “failure = bad” to “failure = feedback.”
Mistakes offer valuable lessons and are often necessary for improvement.
Normalize them as part of the learning journey, not a sign you’ve done something wrong.
5. Practice Self-Compassion and Boundaries
Remind yourself that you’re human—not a machine.
Set healthy boundaries around time, energy, and expectations.
Give yourself permission to rest, recalibrate, and say “no” when needed.
7. Visualise Success
This tip is one that helped me overcome some of the hardest challenges in my life with more success than I originally thought possible.
Practice visualisation techniques where you imagine yourself succeeding in challenging situations.
This can build confidence and reduce anxiety, I know for me it completely eliminated any stress when it would pop up.
Having a clear visual, one that is real to you, that you can see, smell, taste and truly feel helps so much.
How to Visualise
It might sound simple but can be tricky to understand if you haven’t done it before.
Here is an example from when I was going through custody.
I had two, one was the court process and the other was something I viewed as our freedom point, after custody.
Whenever I would get stressed about court, custody or the whole process, I tried to bring a mini movie to my mind.
The movie included the events of the final day in court and how I hoped it would turn out.
I knew exactly how I was dressed, my shoes, hair, makeup, all of it.
It started with me walking into the courthouse, I could picture the smells outside and inside as I had been many times before.
My bag was placed on the machine as I was scanned through security, the guards were friendly as we’d met a few times.
I collect my bag, meet my barrister and head to the court room.
Bowing as I enter, I can smell how that room smells, the independent children’s lawyer is already seated, I take my seat behind my barrister.
Feeling my heart rate rise as we await the judge, I do some deep breathing to calm myself.
I pictured exactly what was said, who said what and when, that my ex didn’t show so things moved forward without him (the judge had stipulated that it would in the last court session when he was court ordered to show up).
Full parent responsibility was awarded to me, I could feel all the emotions, imagined who I called immediately after, all of it.
Essentially, from start to finish I could play in my mind the court process going how I wanted, how it looked, smelt, felt, all of it.
Second Visual
Another one, when I didn’t want to feel those deep emotions was us on holidays in the Solomon Islands.
I had been on a few trips there but from the first trip I had the spot I would picture as needed.
Standing at the back of the dive deck, watching my kids play in the water with the kids from the local villages, swimming, canoeing etc.
It was in that moment I felt we were free.
Note, my kids are Islander (my older two are Tongan/Maori, my stepdaughter is Solomon Islands/Ni-Vanuatu and since that time I have had 2 more kids who are Ni-Vanuatu).
We did get to the Solomon Islands, in fact, we were locked down there early 2020 with my stepdaughter as we were on an outer island with her, her mother (we get along really well), mothers family and new partner etc.
Tips for Visualising
Picture something powerful and meaningful to you and practice bringing it to your mind.
Do this at times where it’s easy such as in the shower, getting ready, cooking dinner etc.
Practice bringing it to mind when you don’t need it so when you are emotional and need it, you can easily bring it up as it is so solid in your mind.
If needed, you can attach music to it, so every time you hear a certain song it can prompt that visualisation.
8. Take Action Despite Doubt
“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” — Michael Jordan
Don’t wait for the self-doubt to disappear before taking action or you will find you are stuck in that position forever.
Worse still, everyone around you will appear to be making progress, so you will feel even more behind or stuck.
Building confidence often comes from doing, even when you’re unsure.
I have 20 tips to help increase your confidence if you are struggling with that.
You might be doubting yourself, but you might also be surprised that someone else is watching you, admiring how you are handling life and following your footsteps.
So take action, it doesn’t matter whether it is perfect, all that matters is you move in the direction of your goals and dreams.
“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
9. Practice Self-Compassion
It has been mentioned briefly above, but I wanted to address it as it’s own tip too.
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you face challenges.
Acknowledge that everyone struggles at times, and it’s okay to ask for help or take a break when needed.
Learning self-compassion was difficult for me, so I do understand.
How to Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion does not come easily to everyone and is a skill many need to learn.
Here are a few ways to do it.
1. Speak to Yourself with Kindness
The way we speak to ourselves can be absolutely horrible sometimes.
Treat yourself as you would a close friend, your sibling or a loved one.
Replace self-criticism with encouraging and understanding language, the way you would speal to them.
Instead of saying, “I messed up again,” try, “It’s okay to make mistakes—this is how I learn.”
If you have trouble reframing your thoughts, you can use AI and ask to have whatever your negative thoughts are reframed so you have examples.
Or focus on this aspect with a therapist.
2. Embrace Imperfection
Let go of unrealistic standards and allow yourself to be human.
Acknowledge that everyone struggles and no one gets it right all the time.
This mindset creates space for growth rather than guilt and was covered a little above.
3. Practice Mindfulness
I probably sound like a broken record talking about mindfulness, that is because it is effective for so many things.
Stay present with your emotions without judgment.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or down, pause and check in with yourself.
Try saying, “This is a difficult moment. What do I need right now?”
Remember, there are 15 tips to practice mindfulness for beginners here.
4. Create a Self-Compassion Ritual
Routines and rituals have helped me change many aspects of my life and negative thinking.
It’s easier if you already have something in place and can add on a little ritual to help with self compassion.
Start or end your day with a small practice—like journaling, meditation, or placing a hand on your heart and breathing deeply.
If you attach this ritual to something you already do such as brushing your teeth, skincare etc it can become a habit faster.
These rituals ground you and reinforce the habit of self-care.
5. Set Healthy Boundaries
Protect your energy by learning to say no without guilt.
Recognize that honoring your own needs is a vital part of being compassionate to yourself.
Learning to set and stick to boundaries can be difficult but it’s worth it.
What helped you overcome imposter syndrome?
Resources Mentioned
Here are the articles and any other resources mentioned throughout the article.
How to have an attitude of gratitude
15 tips for mindfulness
How to set and achieve goals
Learn to set and stick to boundaries