For the past few years, I felt lost, rushed, overwhelmed, stuck and as if life was passing me by.
Some of it was postpartum depression and trauma (two babies a year apart, health issues and some extremely traumatic events during all of it).
Part of it was feeling as though my greatest achievements were behind me because I went from being a homeless single mother to multiple international award-winning CEO a decade ago.
Once I secured custody of my kids and we were free, we began travelling full time which had been our goal for years.
2020 hit and instead of being able to continue with the life we had only started the year before, we had to put everything on hold.
I had two more kids then and was not able to work the way I had before or do anything I used to do.
Then my teenagers excelled at their chosen pursuits (robotics and wrestling), resulting in numerous overseas trips, extensive training and amazing achievements for them.
My life seemed to be extremely busy for everyone else and on pause for myself.
I lost myself in everything else that was going on and couldn’t see how to bounce back.
Breaking Point
In September we went to Thailand for the South East Asia and Oceania Wrestling Championships.
Before we left, I weighed myself and had to get new clothes because I was the biggest I had ever been.
Mentally and physically, I felt awful, not just because of my weight.
Because I had lost myself and did not like who I had become.
In fact, I didn’t recognise myself at all.
When we were at the championships, I was surrounded by extremely fit, healthy, encouraging people.
We met the team from another state in Australia and they immediately adopted us like family.
Hanging out with them, seeing my daughter win Gold and experiencing being myself again was the trigger I needed to make real change.
Real Results
It’s only been 2 months but so far, making the changes below have had powerful results.
Within 2 weeks I had dropped a dress size and my whole energy was noticeably different.
I was more relaxed, happy, in my feminine and feeling more myself than I had in years.
Now, I have dropped 13kg and 2 dress sizes. My body shape has changed enough that others are commenting.
Our home life is happier, I have more activities booked in and I finally took the leap to do a few events I wanted to do last year but wasn’t mentally or physically in the right space to do that.
Make the decision, start changing your habits and see the impact it has on your life.
Here are 17 small things to help you get out of a rut, increase happiness and get your life back.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links to products and services I use.
1. Ask This Question…
Every time I went to do something or didn’t want to do something, I’d ask myself “Does this add value to my life?” or “How does this add value to my life?”
Doing this forced me to look at what I was doing and whether it would take me to the life I wanted or detract from it.
Too often we scroll social media, stream movies and waste time doing nothing of value.
Then we wonder why we are so tired and can’t sleep or why we aren’t achieving our goals.
When you look at everything you are doing, if it doesn’t add value to your life, why are you doing it?
Use Duolingo, read books, listen to audiobooks and podcasts instead of scrolling on social media.
Drink water as soon as you wake up instead of coffee.
Get early morning sunlight and evening sunlight to help reset your circadian rhythm.
Walk wherever possible or ride a bike instead of always using the car.
2. Plan Things For Yourself
When it comes to things for my kids, I would do everything to generate the money, time and energy to make it happen.
Yet when it came to doing things I really wanted for myself, I hesitated or put it off.
I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I had put off for myself and started booking them in.
Some were smaller such as specific restaurants I wanted to try, others bigger such as trips and competitions.
Locking these things in forced me to find a way to make them happen.
Being clear with my family about what I wanted to do and why made it easy for all of us to work together to do the things we wanted to do.
So write a list of things you want to do, book them in and make them happen.
3. Delete and Unsubscribe
Deleting social media apps from my phone, unsubscribing from streaming services, turning off all notifications and cleaning up my email all helped clear those distractions from my life.
The more I did this, the happier, lighter and more productive I became.
You can switch off notifications but I know I fell into the trap of scrolling when I was bored.
The more I wasted my time that way, the more I felt drained, bored, agitated and unhappy with my life.
Even though I was careful about curating my social feeds, it still drained me.
Try a 30 day no social or no streaming challenge and note how different you feel.
4. Exercise
Getting the exercise equipment we like and joining classes to increase our fitness has been great for our mental and physical health.
With my 15 year old, she is a champion wrestler so prioritising her training and working out with her also made it a priority for me.
5am workouts were not possible when my kids were younger but now they sleep through and we can start our day with whatever exercise we choose.
Having an accountability partner and doing exercise you enjoy can make it easier and help you stick to it.
I want to live a long life and be there for my kids and any potential grandkids, so I need to prioritise my health.
By looking for ways to do it with my kids and incorporating more movement into our lives in general, we are all physically and mentally happier.
How to Incorporate More Exercise
Working out before my toddler’s wake has been one of the best ways to ensure I exercise.
Planning family weekends at waterfalls, the beach and other activities connects us and keeps us fit.
Utilise YouTube for workouts, dance routines, yoga, pilates and anything else you want to try.
We have a few favourites such as Yoga with Adrienne, Grow With Jo and Mr London.
With my toddlers, I play with them on the playground or run around, kick the ball, ride my bike (with them in the trailer) and am in general more active.
This teaches them to be active and healthy while improving my health.
They also enjoy doing yoga with me in the evening or first thing in the morning.
5. Clothing Upgrade
This was done slowly as I also worked on my health and weight so I didn’t want to do too much at once.
Buying a few dresses I love, a few pairs of shoes and some underwear/lingerie that makes me feel fantastic drastically increased my confidence and how I felt about my body.
Getting completely ready each day in clothing I felt good in, and doing my hair, makeup and skincare made me feel ready for anything.
Some mornings are hectic and I don’t get to get ready before I have to rush out the door.
On those days, I feel it.
Instead of feeling put together and focused, I feel disorganised and unsettled.
I don’t want to work or do the things I need to do.
It is important to be comfortable in our own skin, it’s also important to do those things that make us feel good.
Get a styling session done to learn the colours and styles that suit you and shop accordingly.
6. Routines
I’ve shared my ideal morning and evening routine but I am also realistic that life happens and things won’t always go to plan.
Some people don’t like routines because they feel it locks them in and doesn’t give them enough freedom.
For me, routines equal freedom because the things I need to get done are done quickly, effectively and consistently.
This frees up a lot of time and headspace for me to do anything else instead of wasting time and energy on things that could have a system.
Once I knew the best routines for specific areas of my life, I worked backwards to see what prevented me from executing those routines at times.
For example, my ideal morning routine starts at 5am with water, a workout, EFT tapping, journaling and reading in the sunlight before my kids get up.
However, if I go to bed too late or my toddlers have a rough night, that morning routine feels impossible.
Sleep is important to me, I am impatient, easily irritated, and don’t think or work as well if I do not get enough sleep (see tips on getting better sleep and dealing with sleep deprivation).
On the nights I do not get enough sleep, I choose to sleep in instead of doing my morning routine but I pay for it later.
Being able to do even 1 minute of each activity for my routine helps get my mindset right though so I still aim for that.
7. Living The Childhood List/Bucket List
We all have things we’ve always wanted to do so start doing them.
I asked my kids what things they wanted to do in their childhood we hadn’t done and combined those with my own list.
Then I set about doing as many of these as we could.
Some aren’t possible or require extensive planning but there were quite a few that were easy to achieve.
Think back on things you used to want to do and still want to do.
How can you incorporate them into your life?
In 2019, I decided it was the year of me and set about taking better care of myself, doing the things I always wanted to do and living life to the fullest, with my kids.
That year was phenomenal in terms of what we got to experience and what we achieved.
Then, in 2020, everything changed and I had two more children quickly, which paused things for a while.
Now my younger children are able to do some of the activities we enjoy, we are getting back into it all.
2024 has been interesting so far and I know 2025 will be even bigger for my kids and me.
This year my eldest became a robotics champion and competed in the world championships in the USA.
My 15-year-old became a wrestling champion, resulting in a lot of travel (Sydney, Melbourne, The Barossa Valley, Chiang Mai, Singapore and Perth).
We went to Vanuatu to see our family and expand our business and real estate.
In December we have a trip to Queensland to do a few things we’ve wanted to do for years.
Write the list, make the plan and live your life your way.
8. An Activity Every Weekend
Friday Family Fun Night is still something my kids love even though my eldest is now 17.
Every weekend we aim to have an activity as a family, sometimes it is something Friday night such as a festival or movie.
Other times it is a beach day, bushwalk, waterfall adventure or a class where we learn something new.
The aim is to do things together often that bond us, create memories and ensure we are living a life we love.
Since we live on the beach, we try to go to the beach a few times a week, not just on weekends.
Numerous waterfalls are within an hour’s drive from us too so exploring nature that way is an easy Saturday morning activity.
Diving and other things require more planning but we still try to do these things often.
I also check to see what events are on near us we might enjoy and have started going to concerts with my teenagers too which they love.
Create memories while you can.
9. Stopped Something Successful Because it Drained Me
There is a project I worked on for years that paid for the lifestyle we have and provided some amazing opportunities.
The money was good, it covered everything we needed and more but it drained me.
Working on it drained my energy and caused a negative, scarcity mindset.
My preferred state is positive, abundant, focused and progressing.
When I work on things I enjoy and have a mindset of abundance, amazing things happen.
Having a scarcity mindset completely derails all my goals and depletes my energy.
For years I tried to wind this project down but every time I did something would come up that made a decent amount of money and stopped me from letting go of it completely.
I held back on taking it to its full potential though because I didn’t want to be known for that thing anymore.
Winding it down to let it go completely at the end of this year has been extremely freeing.
What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? How can you let it go?
10. Stay Hydrated
I used to roll my eyes when people would say to drink more water for pretty much anything.
Yet our bodies are mostly water so we need to stay hydrated to function well.
Ensuring I drink 2 to 3L of water a day improved my skin, my energy and my clarity.
The easiest way for me to implement this was to have a selection of water bottles in the fridge and placed around the house.
One on my desk, another in my bedroom, one in the lounge next to the plant but kind of hidden etc.
Setting reminders to drink water and creating rules for myself such as I have to drink 1L before I can have any other sort of drink helped too.
Plus the more active I got, the more water I drank and both of those improved my health.
11. Changed my Social Circle
Not everyone deserves your time and energy and that’s ok.
I am grateful I learned to set boundaries and enforce them as an adult and only wish I had done it sooner.
Limiting contact with some people or removing them from my life completely freed up so much mental space and has been healing.
My home is more peaceful and my kids have commented on the difference not having them in our life has made.
I used to feel obligated to stay connected to everyone from my past or family because they’re family.
However, if you’re the only one making the effort or there is toxic behaviour/abuse or it is not good for your mental health, it is ok to step back.
It would be fantastic if everyone was mentally healthy, took responsibility for their choices and cared for each other but since that is not reality, you have to do it for yourself.
At the same time, I actively sought out like-minded people, tried new classes and went places where I knew I would find my people.
It has not been easy to do that where I am currently located but life is what you make it so I am doing my best.
Fortunately for us, we met some incredible people on a recent trip and they come from an area we are relocating to.
Research shows the impact your social circle has on your life, especially your health and longevity.
Friends and a social life are important so choose your friends wisely.
12. Displayed More Photos
Moving around a fair bit, I stopped displaying photos until recently.
I knew the research behind displaying photos and the impact it has on the confidence of children but I was lazy.
Displaying more photos was as simple as getting a couple of frames from Kmart, asking my kids for their favourite photos and printing them to display.
I also pulled out a few things they have each made over the years in school and daycare such as a plaster handprint, a little self-portrait, a decorated mug etc.
Placing them around the home has made each of my kids smile and prompted cute conversations.
When my 2 year old walked into my office and saw the mug she decorated at daycare sitting there she gasped in joy “You have the mug?!”
These little things show your kids you love them and bring up sweet memories.
13. Prioritised My Time
With 4 kids here, it is easy to get lost in everyone else’s needs and to use all my time on everything for them, leaving nothing for myself.
I felt my body shutting down, my life passing me by and I knew mentally I was not my best.
Taking back my time, and setting boundaries around what I will and won’t do, what I expect from my teens and others in my life helped.
No one knows how much you are juggling except for you and if you keep making it look easy, they won’t realise you are struggling.
Let your family and friends know your limits, ask for help when you need it and take control of your time again.
Use these tips to balance family and everything else in your life.
A few books helped me put things in perspective, save time and organise myself better:
Life Admin Hacks: The step-by-step guide to saving time and money, reducing the mental load and streamlining your life
The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months
Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results
The Power of One More: The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success
Level Up: Get Focused, Stop Procrastinating and Upgrade Your Life
14. Medical Check-Up
When was the last time you had a full check-up with a doctor who listens and cares?
Since I have a medical history with a few issues, regular check-ups are crucial but I have neglected them for the past few years due to my mental health.
This year I had full blood work, a DEXA scan, ultrasound, ECG, EKG, skin check and everything else recommended due to my medical history.
Doing this enabled us to create a plan for my health and to monitor a few things more closely.
Knowing what needs to be done now and in the future plus what they have no real options for made it easier to make decisions regarding my lifestyle choices.
15. Salon Visits
I am a qualified hairdresser and have some beauty qualifications so I can DIY everything.
However, there are some things I prefer to have someone else do and others I DIY.
Whenever I felt broke, I cut the salon visits which made me feel more broke.
Recently, I tried a selection of salons near me to find one I love and now I am booked to go regularly again.
This is my way of ensuring I have a little time out for myself and am not doing everything myself.
I’ve also started scheduling short massages and facials every now and then because I enjoy how I feel after.
Full spa days are not my thing (I tried but can’t relax into it at this stage) so mini visits for a massage, manicure or something is the best way for me to do this.
16. Gut Health and Nutritious Variety
Along with my health check-up, I did a deep dive into everything related to my personal health issues and longevity.
Creating a nutritious lifestyle plan (not a diet) with a variety of foods, aiming for at least 30 to 50 different plant-based foods healed many issues.
Increasing my protein and watching my other levels e.g. iron, blood sugar levels etc plus taking supplements with my doctors supervision helped even more.
My weight decreased, my energy increased, I slept better, as did my kids and my productivity skyrocketed due to my mental clarity.
I watched a few documentaries, read books and podcasts, spoke with my doctor and implemented changes under medical supervision.
A few of the things I watched and read include:
Live to 100
Hack Your Health: The Secrets of Your Gut
You Are What You Eat: A Twin Study
The Game-Changers
Before making any drastic lifestyle changes or taking any supplements, please seek professional advice from a doctor.
You can also work with other medical practitioners such as naturopaths, dieticians, psychologists and so on, but start with your GP and keep a record of everything.
17. Increased Learning
I’ve always loved researching, learning, trying new things and educating myself.
With pregnancies, health issues, and newborns/toddlers, I felt braindead and as if everything I was attempting to learn went in one ear and out the other.
Continuous learning helps improve your quality of life and keep your mind active, this preventing various diseases.
Even 5 minutes a day on a language I want to learn or listening to a podcast while driving in the car is beneficial.
I love to read and have enjoyed completing a few courses this year but it has been harder with my toddlers.
Think about things you’ve always wanted to learn and start doing them.
If it’s a class such as a dance class, some offer your first class free or have locations and days where it is free.
Choose something to increase your learning and improve your life then go do it.
What changes have you made to improve your life and get out of a rut?
Resources Mentioned in This Article:
Workout channels: Yoga with Adrienne, Grow With Jo and Mr London
My ideal morning and evening routine
Sleep tips
Research behind displaying photos
Tips to balance family and everything else in your life
Life Admin Hacks: The step-by-step guide to saving time and money, reducing the mental load and streamlining your life
The 12 Week Year: Get More Done in 12 Weeks than Others Do in 12 Months
Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results
The Power of One More: The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success
Level Up: Get Focused, Stop Procrastinating and Upgrade Your Life
Live to 100
Hack Your Health: The Secrets of Your Gut
You Are What You Eat: A Twin Study
The Game-Changers