Here are 15 strategies to build resilience and bounce back from challenges:
1. Cultivate a Positive Mindset and Accept It Won’t be OK 24/7
I’m not saying dismiss whatever has happened to you or whatever troubles you are going through.
I’ve been a homeless single mother, gone through bushfires and cyclones, locked down overseas, had major health issues and more.
During those times I absolutely had moments of complete doubt, everything felt hopeless and I struggled to do anything.
However, when I was able to focus on any positives, it helped my mind look for more positives and for opportunities.
To do this I ask myself these questions:
How can I be grateful for this?
What lesson can I learn from it?
How can I turn it into an opportunity?
Some things were easier than others to overcome and to find ways to grow, others were harder.
Dwelling on all the negatives of the situation tends to keep you stuck whereas looking for any potential positives can redirect your thoughts and open up new possibilities.
Focus on the positives in any situation where possible, no matter how small those positives might be.
Reframe challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable problems.
Try to find the positives and start building your new life.
2. Practice Gratitude
A gratitude practice has been an important part of my adult life and has helped me overcome major obstacles.
Each evening I write at least 3 things I am grateful for in my journal.
Whenever something is not going well during the day, I try to list a few thins to be grateful for in my head.
At the dinner table, we discuss things we are grateful for, why we are grateful for them, how they impact our lives and how they make us feel.
Anchoring the feelings of gratitude with solid emotions and discussion helps keep you in a more positive state.
Regularly reflect on what you’re grateful for.
This shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s going right, fostering resilience.
3. Develop a Strong Support Network
Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a community.
Having people to lean on during tough times makes it easier to cope.
This seems to be harder these days as we are working longer hours, are less connected and instead of being actively involved in the community, we are at home.
I am fortunate to have siblings I am close to and other family members I could rely on at times I needed them.
There is no way I would have managed to do all I have or overcome extreme traumas without support.
This includes the support of professionals such as a psychologist because while social connections are important, professionals can help you develop the skills you need to be more resilient.
4. Embrace Change
Accept that change is a natural part of life, both good and bad and while it might look bad to you right now, something better might be around the corner.
Being adaptable and open to change helps you handle unexpected challenges more effectively.
When we resist change, we resist progress, opportunities, and the potential to create our dream life.
Nothing in life stays the same, so learning how to accept change and work with it instead of resist it will help you progress faster and further in life.
Instead of focusing on what could go wrong with the change, think about what can go right.
5. Set Realistic Goals
A huge goal is great and having things to aspire to and be working on is wonderful if you are realistic about them and achieve them.
By all means dream big, know what it is you want but also be aware of what you can do, your resources and what is required to achieve your goal.
Set the big goal then break it into smaller steps so you can work on it every day.
By breaking down larger challenges into smaller, manageable goals and creating systems to achieve them you will have greater success.
Achieving these smaller goals builds confidence and momentum.
There are things you can do to make it easier to achieve the goals as well such as changing your environment and habit stacking.
Read my steps for success with goals and read the book Atomic Habits to see how to set and achieve goals.
Then read The 12 Week Year to learn how to achieve more in 12 weeks than most do in a year!
6. Practice Self-Compassion
We are often much harder on ourselves, especially in times of trouble, than anyone else is or we’d ever be to a friend.
Be kind to yourself, especially when things go wrong.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend.
Humans are set for survival so we tend to look for the negative to protect ourselves and ensure we don’t make mistakes or repeat mistakes.
Learning to have compassion for yourself and to look for the positive can take practice but is worth learning.
The next time you have a negative thought, challenge it.
Dr Joe Dispensa teaches this and here is a snippet from an interview with Ed Mylett to show how to do it:
7. Learn from Past Experiences
Your past experiences made you who you are today and taught you what you know.
They might not all be good experiences but everything you have done in your life has taught you something.
Reflect on how you’ve overcome difficulties in the past.
What were you facing, how did you navigate it, what did you learn from it and how would you do it differently if facing it again?
Then apply those lessons to your current situation to help you overcome any challenges and build your resilience.
Sometimes when we reflect we can only see the negative so it might be worth using a journal, looking through photos or asking people close to you that you can trust what they saw/heard/learnt at the time.
If you don’t have a journal from the past, now is an excellent time to start one and include the things you are reflecting on as well as current issues, lessons and life in general.
8. Stay Physically Active
Regular exercise boosts your mood, reduces stress, and enhances your ability to cope with adversity.
Longevity studies have shown that the impact of exercise alone on our lifespan is extreme.
Yet so few of us get enough exercise.
Exercise doesn’t need to be hours at the gym or running on the treadmill if you don’t enjoy those things.
It’s about being active, keeping fit, getting your heartrate up regularly, and maintaining balance and flexibility.
Being fit or having health as a goal makes it easier to face other obstacles in life and helps you avoid some challenges too.
When you have a health or fitness goal to work on, are building strength to be strong and working on flexibility and balance because you want to, it helps you keep mentally healthy too.
Brainstorm ways to stay active and start trying them to find things you enjoy doing.
Some of my favourites include hiking, swimming, snorkelling, scuba diving, stand up paddleboarding, yoga, pilates, dance tutorials on YouTube and weights.
I do enjoy going to the gym and some classes but I tend to prefer being active with my family, doing things at the beach, exploring bushland and waterfalls.
Check out MeetUp, Facebook and your community groups for things in your area you can try.
Many programs offer the first class free such as dancing, martial arts, Tai Chi, Yoga etc and some places have community fitness classes for free.
9. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle
Ensuring you get quality sleep, eat nutritious food, keep your stress levels low and stay on top of your mental health are all crucial for building resilience.
When our minds and bodies are strong, it is much easier to overcome any challenges we face.
Being sick, feeling tired all the time, struggling with our mental health or other health issues makes all problems in life worse.
Get a full body check-up from your doctor to have a baseline for everything and to identify issues early.
Learn about nutrition, gut health, what your body needs and the best things to eat based on your body.
For example, I have PCOS, Adenomyosis, am almost 40 and have had 4 kids so my health needs are vastly different to my fit, strong, champion wrestler 15 year old.
While there are some similarities, knowing the specifics through bloodwork and check-ups ensures we can both maximise our nutrition based on our specific needs.
Create a proper sleep schedule, make your bedroom a haven and work to improve your sleep.
I have tips for getting better sleep and dealing with sleep deprivation.
Stress can be difficult to manage e.g if you are dealing with toxic people often, hate your job or are dealing with traumas.
Some of it is outside out control so focus on what you can control when it comes to your stress.
Yoga, meditation and mindfulness have all been proven to help with stress.
Apply for other jobs if you job is the problem and look at other ways you can change your environment to reduce stress.
Consider professional help if there is trauma or even if you are not feeling your best or finding things hard to manage.
Psychologists, counselors and similar are there to help you and there is no shame seeking their help.
Seeking professional help for your mental and physical health will ensure you have a higher quality of life and makes it easier to face challenges.
10. Develop Problem-Solving Skills
People who are great at solving problems learned how to be, they weren’t born that way.
Developing the skill syou need such as problem-solving skills, approaching challenges with this mindset and acting on those to solve the issue helps with resilience.
When you know you can rely on yourself, your knowledge and skills to overcome challenges, those challenges often seem smaller.
Break down the issue you are facing, brainstorm solutions, and take action.
The more you do this, even with small issues, the strong these skills become.
Over time you will have fewer big problems because you can handle them quickly and efficiently.
11. Focus on What You Can Control
Concentrate on aspects of a situation that are within your control and let go of what you cannot change.
Focusing on all the terrible aspects of any challenge, especially what you have no control over will make you feel helpless.
Feeling helpless keeps you stuck.
By focusing on what you can control in a situation and taking action based on that, you will reduce your stress levels and be able to work on a solution.
Whatever it is you are facing, make a list of the things that are within your control.
Next, consider how you can improve them or do what you need to reduce the issues or maybe even solve the whole problem.
We cannot control anyone else, many situations are outside our control but we can control how we respond and the next action we take.
12. Practice Mindfulness
Stay present and engaged in the current moment.
Mindfulness helps you manage stress and reduces the tendency to ruminate on negative thoughts.
Much of our anxiety and depression and stress stems from worrying about the future or regretting the past.
Often the things we worry about for the future never even come true.
By worrying about the future or regretting the past, we ruin the present.
The present is the only time we truly have and the only time we can do anything in.
When you start to spiral with negative thinking because of the problems you are facing, try to stay present.
Do a mindfulness activity such as using your 5 senses to find 5 things you see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.
Or take your shoes off and place your feet on the ground, feel the grass or other nature beneath your feet.
Put on a mindfulness meditation for a few minutes.
There are many mindfulness exercises you can do to help you remain in the present and focuses on solutions instead of ruminating about the past or future.
13. Keep a Resilience Journal
Document your challenges, how you overcame them, and what you learned.
This helps reinforce your resilience and provides encouragement during tough times.
You don’t need a separate journal to do this, it can be done in your regular journal as part of an evening routine.
Be honest with yourself about what you are facing, how you feel, what you can control, what you are doing to change things and the outcomes.
Writing it all out can help you process what is happening, overcome the challenges and find solutions.
Reflecting on this in the future can help you when you are facing other challenges too.
14. Seek Professional Help if Needed
Don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor if you’re struggling to cope.
Professional guidance can be invaluable.
Don’t feel as though you have to have faced major trauma to see a therapist.
Whatever issue you are facing, it can be helpful to talk it through with someone, get a different perspective, be challenged and learn techniques to face the issue.
Getting professional help can sometimes help you overcome an issue much faster than if you attempted it on your own.
Research the types of help out there to find the right professional for you.
15. Volunteer or Help Others
Helping others can provide a sense of accomplishment and remind you of your own strengths.
It also shifts your focus away from your own challenges.
When I was struggling with a new life after leaving an abusive marriage and being homeless for a while, I found volunteering extremely rewarding.
It gave me a sense of purpose and opened up a whole new world of people, connections, events and a completely different perspective.
I started by doing haircuts at a drop-in centre, then was asked to share my story at some events and things snowballed from there.
Getting outside my comfort zone, meeting new people, and being of service to others who were in the same situation I had been in helped both me and them.